Pure Pleasure is....

A) eating Black Raspberry Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream B) sleeping in and not having to rush around to get ready C) the name of the sex accessories party I went to last weekend or D) all of the above. The answer is D.
Amazingly enough, I've never been to one before, and there were some real veterans there (my sisters included). I learned a LOT. As all of you know, as long as I know you well I have a big mouth that spews all forms of filth. I like to shock, disgust, and make people cackle. But I'm actually quite inexperienced when it comes to experimentation in the love-making department. Which I decided is A-OKAY for the most part.
I actually had a great time, nasty things crack me up and I was in good company. They had a great spread (no pun intended), including cookies shaped and decorated to look like penises. My friend proudly showed me the booklet of frosted penis pastries she used to make them.
One of the first things we did was play this game where you move one to two places to your right if you answer yes to our hostess's questions. These questions involve kinky things that you may have done or sex toys that you may have. I moved ONCE, answering yes to the question "Did you have sex yesterday?" The only other person that moved once was the doc for the "Have you ever faked an orgasm? question. Every other person made it all the way around the room at least once, some even twice! There were a lot of people there so I had a hard time keeping up with who was moving with what questions. I'd be like "Wait a minute!! Did you just move??!!" to my sisters.
The products were fascinating, and our party host did not beat around the bush (no pun intended) and had a heavy southern accent. If I had a dime for every time she said "And for those of you ladies who like that finger popped in the back door at just the right time...." They had a thing with a suction cup on it so you could "slap it on the wall of the shower when you're in there, back up to it, and go to TOWN!" BLARGHLLPLL
Items like Booty Eaze, Like a Virgin, Nympho Niagra, and The Love Chub, littered the pages of her catalog. She also had a tool belt she put on with every dildo known to man in it. We all passed around and tested lotions, waxes, toys, powders, you name it, we smelled it and fondled it.
The only disappointment of the day was that Mavis was not in attendance. I tried like the dick-ens to get her to go. I e-mailed her in an effort to convince her. "Are you coming to the penis party or what?!" Her husband e-mailed me back "This is the penis speaking. Why wasn't I invited?" My reply "Because it's for vaginas only! Tell your wife to give up the innocent act and come (no pun intended) !"