Dressed For Suck-Cess

Monday is my day off, if it wasn't I think I could've talked one of my co-workers out of borrowing a scrub top from the pear-shaped plop of a person I like to poke at.
She went to Animal Control with one of the doctors that day. We go every week to euthanize the sick and unwanted. It is an unfortunate and depressing part of our job, I'm glad they go on Mondays, hopefully I'll never have to go.
Anyway, apparently she was pretty funky when she got back, and she felt like she had to change her shirt. She didn't have any extras of her own there, and since Octavia the Orangutan lives right next door, she asked her if she could borrow one.
"It was disgusting. I smelled like fried food and cigarettes the rest of the day. I was miserable."
Um YEAH, what did you expect, flowers and freshness?! I'd rather wear a neon, cut-off, fishnet tube top with the nipples cut out without a bra than slip on something scraped out of that outhouse.
We were discussing this at the end of the day today, and my boss said she gave him a plant once he had to throw away because it smelled so bad. How thick does the stench have to be to permanently pollute foliage? They are supposed to make a more oxygen rich environment, not make you choke and gag. But I guess that's impossible when their leaves are clogged with grease and nicotine.
We were also discussing her boyfriend's BO and how he is working cutting down trees right now. We were joking about how he probably goes about knocking them down by lifting his arm and exposing them to his poison pit. TIMBER!!! And my boss says "Yeah, with his Mold Spice!" HA!