Cat Pee On A Hot Tin Roof

One time, Hippie bought me a wine with the above name. And that's exactly what it smelled and tasted like.
Today at work, an insano feline went completely apeshit when I was restraining him on the treatment table. It was all I could do to hang onto him so he wouldn't fall, while avoiding being ripped to shreds or eaten. I finally got control of him, and I laid my upper body on top of his so he couldn't move. A minute or two into it, I feel a warm, wet sensation spreading across my abdomen. The little pecker has pissed all over me. I spend the rest of the afternoon apologizing to clients for my offensive odor.
The funny part was my coworker running around the room trying to find something to help me in my plight to tame the beast. She finally picks up the trash can, tosses the bag out of it, and runs over to me, AFTER I've already got the cat pinned under me. All that's poking out is his tiny head, and mine's right above it, so she lifts the giant trash can and covers his tiny head with it. Meanwhile the side of it is smashing into my face. I'm like "Uh, I don't think that's really necessary at this point." She cracks me up.
Another coworker waited in her car several minutes today before coming into work, because Broom Hilda was out letting her dog do its business. He comes running up to everyone he sees, so it would've been hard for her to get in the back gate without some kind of interaction with her. We can only hope that eviction is in her near future, because the fact that she lives next door is really making it inconvenient and uncomfortable for the rest of us.