Another Day, Another Dollar

It's been an exciting week in the veterinary entertainment industry. Here are some highlights:

I was in a room with my boss for a euthanasia- always the worst appointment possible. We had given the dog it's first injection, and there's a "Whirrr..click..flash." The mother of the adult owner had taken a picture of the three of us with the dying dog. I mean, give me a break! Is that how you want to remember your pet?! And now I'm going to be in the family photo album of these weirdos??!! Smile! Say "Worm Chow!"

We had this horrible lady bring in her 2 year old chihuahua after it had been attacked by a larger dog. It had a huge hernia with intestine poking out. It had never been to a vet before because "He's always been healthy." I love that one. Her kids are with her, she's crying, and they're blaming her for letting the dog out. The daughter (11 at the most) calls the father about the estimate, asks for time for them to talk alone, basically runs the show. In the end the mother makes the KIDS choose whether the dog lives or dies. "You have to ask yourselves- do you really love him that much?" The boy is about 8. I have a feeling if they were 3 and 6 she'd probably still be consulting them and making them responsible. Not that they're even close to old enough to be involved as is. Those children should be taken away from her. They ultimately put the dog to sleep.

We took a chunk of blanket fuzz out of a 4 lb dog's intestines tonight. It smelled like @##*$#$)_@!!!!!!! He should be fine though.

Now for good things...

There were two hot owners in today!!! That is unheard of in a vet office. We're lucky to score two in one year!!!

One of my favorite co-workers is knocked up. The funny thing is, I was teasing her about having a bun in the oven for a few weeks before she found out she actually had one cookin'. Torturing her really. A good friend of mine once told me cramping and irritabilty are signs of early pregancy as well as PMS, and I passed this on to..we'll call her Carmen. She told me that like 2 weeks ago. We're on the same cycle (those that chill together spill together) and I was like "Uh, we don't start for over 2 weeks from now. You're probably pregnant." And the day before she found out she was pregnant, she ate lunch and was like, " I ate too much, I'm bloated." I was like "That's not food, that's the 3 week old fetus in your gut." HA! Congratulations, Carmen!!!!

I saved the best for last. The new kennel guy- you know, soldier boy- announced that he had already spent his whole check. When no one took the bait, he said "I spent it all on STUDIO TIME." Oh yeeahhh bboooyyy!!! He wants to be a rapper! Move over Eminem! Make room for Enema! Droop Groggy Sog. The Notorious D.I.C. There's a lot more where those came from. "Gee whiz" I say. "I wish I could spend all my money on studio time. All mine goes to BILLS and FOOD."

Shizzle, I almost forgot! I went to pick up lunch for a few of us today, and who should be there but my sister's whore neighbor. "Look who it is (insert her kid's name here)!" she says a little too brightly. "Heeyy...." I weakly lift the corners of my mouth. She starts talking to someone else and I get my food and haul ass without saying bye. That'll show her.