So Anyway, Back to Your Pet....

Today, one of my favorite co-workers- we'll call her Franny- phoned an owner with lab results. Apparently the woman's dog had some budding yeast in his urine, which Franny explained was likely a contaminant from his penis. "I get yeast infections under my boobs." confesses the owner. Ooookaayy....listen, if your mams and your dog's willy are passing funk back and forth, we'd really rather be kept in the dark about it.
Like the dude who's dog had an itchy rash all over it, so he felt it necessary to show my boss his own skin irritation, which extended from his nips to the bottom of his treasure trail. That's a path I wouldn't want to follow.
And the guy whose cat had an inguinal hernia, apparently he could sympathize. He had a hernia once, it was really painful and it "looked like he had three testicles." Moving right along.

In recent diseased poultry news, the yellow ones are exploding. Not that this is surprising, all they do is eat and shite. It seems the yellow ones are getting more than their fair share however, while the others still huddle together for warmth, the yellow ones lay by themselves, disgusting blobs snug in their own generous insulation.
I expect the day will come when we'll have to cut out the side of their box to crane lift them out, so we can transport them by way of tractor trailer to Cluck Memorial for gastric bypass. After they lose all the weight, they'll need surgery to remove the excess feathers. They can star in their own Discovery Health special- "The 40 lb Chicken" or "The World's Heaviest Hen".