FLOAM

It's not as easy to make things with as they want you to believe. Give me a fat hunk of Playdough any day. And what is the snot-like substance that's half-ass holding the little pellets together anyway?

So I looked up my stats, 317 out of 664, and 14 out of 48 women in my age group (30-34). Bonus: My legs feel like someone's been pounding on them with a sledgehammer. I have to brace myself on either side of the toilet and slowly ease back until I feel cool lid hit my cheeks.

And I have to tell you, I saw someone CHEAT in the race. It was me and two guys running within a few feet of each other, and we came into this neighborhood that made a big horseshoe. The course involved going all the way around the horseshoe, the arrows don't lie. Well there was a street that cut across to the end of the horseshoe almost right at the start on the other side, and this dude veered right on it and loped on over to join the people finishing the horseshoe. And it was BIG too. Me and the other guy watched him jog away then looked at each other like "What the ??!?!?" Then we just continued doing what we came there to do, run a freaking half marathon. I mean, why even sign up and pay if you're not going to run the whole thing? It's not like the first prize was a million dollars, or his ticket into the college of his choice or something. The only person you cheat is YOURSELF. Chump. Also, we all had chips on our shoes that logged our distance and time. HELLO. He's dishonest and a dumb shit.

My sister got me a cake (a rich, chocolate one mmmm) for my personal victory, and she had them put my time on it-" 2 hours, One minute". "It may still be frozen in the middle", she says, "They had one thawed out but they misheard me , so they had to get another one out of the freezer." "Oh yeah, what time did they put on the first one?" "2 hours and SIXTY minutes." Hmmmmm.......