Casseroles & Asserholes

We had our Christmas pot luck lunch at work the other day, I brought this cheesy potato dish. It has a STICK AND A HALF of butter in it. It's nutritious and delicious. I had no choice but to bring it over to the witchy weeble wobble's apartment to have it warmed up. It was either that or everyone would have to warm up their servings individually in the microwave. So I take a deep breath, square my shoulders, and trudge next door. And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but two very large men and their bellies of beer. Inside I was retching. "Hi" I say. This guy with her abdominable boyfriend was actually more disgusting than him, I didn't think that was possible. He was fatter, which makes him a candidate for his own reality show on Discovery Health. He was also one of those people who's really fair skinned with hair so red it's orange. "Whatcha got?" They're bursting out of the sides of their warping plastic lawn chairs, craning their necks (what's left of them) to try to peek at my parcel. It's not like they would actually put forth the effort to get up, they would've brought their seats with them anyway. "It's a potato dish- with cheese, sour cream, butter- you know." "Like an Au Gratin." "Sort of. I guess." I knock and Humpty opens up to take my dish, and I hightail it out of there. Again, I didn't eat any of the spooge surprise she brought to the shindig. It was some kind of noodle thing with sauce on it. The possibilities for what could've been lurking in its depths are endless.
We chipped in and got the docs gift certificates for 60 minute massages at a nearby salon. I think they really liked them, my boss said he's never had one, and he could definitely benefit from it. It was funny because the the gift cards came in hot pink bags, I apologized to him explaining that was all they had, and we knew he was manly enough to handle it. Anyway, limp lungs from next door didn't contribute, she said she'd give me her share after payday, BUT she had gifts for them from only her, these nasty salami log and cheese chunk baskets. Whatever Repulsel!
Ohhhh, when I was at her apartment trying not to run away screaming, I saw something I will try to get a picture of tomorrow. You see, she hangs out her laundry to dry (sometimes for days- it may be laziness, or it's quite possible it takes their stuff that long to dry), and I spotted some sumo slingshots hanging close to the front door. TH-TH-THONG-THONG!