Overshare

We are really gross at work, as you all know. We witness disgusting things, we discuss disgusting things, we dwell on and celebrate all things disgusting. But this one employee (who quit this week by the way), took things to a level that made the rest of us uncomfortable. There's really no limit to our nastiness, but most of us have a similar sense of humor, and many of the things we accuse each other of and claim to partake in are only in jest. This particular person wanted to fit in and join the conversation, so out of left field her comments would fly, without the comedic timing and with total honesty. For instance, we were discussing alternative routes some people take when engaging in you know what I'm talking about don't make me elaborate. Several months ago, one of my favoritest co-workers said "Don't knock it til you tried it." She was only kidding, but of course I haven't let more than a day or two go by without reminding her. She sets herself up for it, what can I say. SO ANYWAY, the aforementioned former employee informs us that's the way she and her husband do it most of the time, because that's the only way she can "get off." Silence. Then she says that the only other people that know this (aren't we the privileged ones) are her husband and her DADDY. Apparently he was in the delivery room when she had her kids-not sure what this has to do with backdoor entry- but whatever. Another one of my favorite co-workers (when I say "favorite", I actually mean it in this blog), proceeded to ask her if her kids came out of her butt. I still laugh EVERY time I think of her saying that. On a previous occasion, we (me, creepy kinky girl, and kidsfromanus pal) were eating lunch in the break room and we were talking about how we liked food that makes our breath stink- garlic, onions, etc. Soggy sphincter told us she LOVES onions, and her husband tells her she smells and tastes like one "down there" when she's eaten a lot of them. Check please.