When I'm running, I often encounter roaming hounds. Why? Because people are irresponsible losers. The majority of them like to sprint after me yapping, and for the most part I really don't mind this. There's a difference between a friendly, fun game of chase, and pursuit with the intent of removing a chunk of my achilles tendon. There's a horrid mop with fangs on my route that falls into the latter category. He would soooo sink his teeth in if I would slow down just a smidge....
I pushed him with my foot the other day. It made him roll a few times, and he had to struggle to right himself before he could come charging after me again. I said PUSH, not KICK, there is a difference, okay? Besides, he deserved it, and it made me happy.
This morning was no different. I go running towards his house, on the OTHER side of the street I might add, and the hairball from hell comes barrelling out of his yard at me. Today I decided to stomp towards him yelling and barking. He would dart back for a few yards, then come at me again. After a few rounds, I was satisfied with the amount of aggravation and terror I had caused him, and continued on my way. Of course, he hauled butt after me, then who should emerge from the lawn hollering after him- his owner!! Imagine that one! She probably saw me harassing him- at least I hope she did. I couldn't hear her, my Ipod was blasting too loud, but he wasn't freaking listening. Being the super nice gal I am, I ran back towards him, so that he would head in her direction. The last I saw of them, she was trying to catch him and he was ducking out of her reach. Serves her right! I should've just kept going. It pisses me off so bad! I'm sure everyone that goes by there- running, walking, riding a bike, whatever- gets the same treatment. If she doesn't have a fenced yard she needs to leash walk his evil ass out to the bathroom.
I'm considering walking my dogs by there one day. I never have BECAUSE of that rotten little beast. I, the law abiding, better pet owner, adjust MY route to allow this person to continue being an inconsiderate hosebag. Indy hates other dogs when she's on a leash. It's weird, she does okay with them otherwise. I learned this when there was a Westie in our front yard when we returned from a walk one day. I thought, I guess I'll let them say hi to each other. The westie approached Indy, tail wagging, and Indy proceeded to snarl and surround the expanse of the dog's chest with her mouth. I yanked her from him yelling, and he took off hurriedly, occasionally throwing a worried glance over his shoulder to make sure Indy wasn't following him.
I figure I take her by this house, devil dog rushes us, and Indy swallows it whole. The owner will come out seconds later, upset and frantic "Where did Precious go? Where is he?" (the most malicious of dogs have the sweetest sounding names. For example, a dog named Muffin once tried to remove my thumb. And a pooch name Cupcake once bit a co-worker in the face.) "Where did who go?" I'll ask, looking concerned and perplexed. Then Indy will belch a little puff of white fur....HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! What??!!
My mom bought us the most awesome new lid for our mustard.....
This is how it looks while in use.....
Cool, eh? She got my sister one for her ketchup with the holes in the nostrils. Like squeezing bloody boogers onto your burger. MMmmmmIn recent neighborhood news, someone lost their pants....
Being me, I photographed it for my blog. If I was/were (I'm not sure which is proper grammar so I put both) Aaron, I would check to see if they were my size. If they're too small, you're screwed. However, if they're a little large, no problem....
3 comments:
HAHAHA! A few years ago there was a retarded mini schnauzer who's owners thought that, since their house was on the edge of the park, their dog should use it as his personal bathroom and, seeing as it belonged to him, he shouldn't have to be leashed when he went out to use it. Every time I would go running, Retard Ranger would yap behind me in that same vicious "I would like to taste your achilles" sort of way. Finally, after months of this abuse, which his owner seemed oblivious to, I brought Tahoe along with me for a run (I can't recall now why I didn't run with him before this). Tahoe is not aggressive, in fact, he just ignored Retard Ranger, but he is big and that must be what terrified his owner. Whenever Tahoe was running with me and this little midget would chase us, his owner would suddenly appear chasing after him as if he had "accidentally" escaped. I started letting Tahoe off leash when we got to the park. He never did anything to Ranger, but the owner had him on a leash from that point on. The point of this novel is; take Indy, she may scare enough crap out of the little runt's mommy that some sense can find it's way in. Plus it's fun to watch them panic...ps. I love your mustard lid.
Great blogging sweet daughter. Love your rambling!
Love
Dad
The other good thing about taking Indy is that if the dog gets to close to you you could hop on Indy's back and ride off into the sunset.
Back when I used to run with Honey I got super mad at a lady in the park who had her dog off it's leash and it came bolting after us - at which time Honey nearly jerky my arm out of it's socket trying to go towards that dog. I couldn't progress until the lady caught up with us - which took forever since she walked in slow motion. I could have slapped her silly, she thought it was all a fun game. I hate having to stop when I'm running.
That mustard thing is awesome.
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