It's About Damn Time!!!

Aaron came prancing in from the back yard last week, hootin' and hollerin', both arms raised in the air like he was carrying twin torches in the Olympics or something. Clutched in each meat hook.....


There've been about 3 or 4 more since then. I figure after we've collected about 300 cartons worth, we'll have broken even.

I know I said that was my last vacation blog, but I forgot something. The picture below...

This picture was taken in the exact same spot 5 years ago...

It's crrrazzzy how fast time goes by.

Here we have one of many drawings by Tatum that all look almost exactly the same. She brought them to me to look at, and after perusing them I said, "These are great Tatum, but why do all of them have an eye patch?"

Appalled by my interpretation of her art work, she informed me that it's NOT an eye patch, it is part of her hair hanging over her eye. That's how her older cousin, whom Tatum much admires, wears her hair. All of the girls in the sketches are also wearing cheerleading costumes, belly buttons exposed. Now when I pull Tatum's hair back in the morning, she insists on hanging on to one strand of hair to leave dangling in her line of vision. Have I mentioned that I wish my girls could skip from like age 10 to age 20?

Anybody that knows me well, knows I really don't give two craps about how my vehicle looks. As long as it gets me from point A to point B without any trouble, I'm happy. My saturn is dented and scratched in multiple places, and I leave things (like water bottles, wrappers, receipts, the occasional banana peel) in it until until it either inhibits other people from riding in it OR someone other than my kids is going to be riding in it. And even THEN, Aaron's usually the one that ends up cleaning it out. Even if he's not the one driving it, it irritates him. And that's what I tell him too- "If you don't like it, YOU clean it out. I've got enough stuff to do." I don't live in it, so it's last on the list. Washing it?? VACUUMING it?? You've got to be kidding me. And I can't even remember the name of the spray you're supposed to use on the steering wheel and what not.
I got in the driver's side a couple weeks ago, and caught a brief glimpse of an immobile object in the corner where the dash meets the front windshield. It was dark, a couple inches long, and seemed to be segmented with some appendages. "Big bug" I think to myself, as I'm putting my key in the ignition. By the time I turn it, the insect's corpse has already been forgotten and replaced by a bazillion other things. Over the next couple weeks, I'll give it an occasional glance, but it's presence barely even registers with me. So the other day, I'm getting in the car, I see it, and it's shifted positions. It's then that I realize, it's not a bug at all....

Poor Kermy. I know what all of you are thinking- "Even if I thought it was just a bug, I would've gotten rid of it right away! You're so gross about your car!" (my sister's exact words). Unfortunately, like some other things in life (i.e. my yard), I just can't seem to make myself care. AS A MATTER OF FACT, I never went back to throw it away after I took the picture, so unless Aaron disposed of it, it's still a mini-mummy on my dash. How's THAT for disgusting? HAHAHAHAHA!

Here's more nasty for ya. This client of ours came in the other day with one of her dachshunds. I've never had a problem with her, but she can have a tendency to be bitchy, rude, cold, and condescending. She wasn't that day, as a matter of fact she was probably the nicest I'd ever seen her. I'd just gotten done going over her dog's go home sheet with her, and she was trying to get her dog to take him out of the room. He was hiding under her chair, and she was leaning down in it as far she could, trying to reach him. All of a sudden "PLERB PLAPPA PLIP". I guess the pressure that she was putting on her gut forced out the GIANT fart waiting there. The seats are vinyl too, so the acoustics were incredible. "Sorry" she says, face a little red. "That's okay", says I, and I walk her up to check out. Of course I go back and tell everyone, and I'm cracking up. "How'd you keep it together in there? I would've been dying!" I told them I think it just caught me by such surprise I was in shock for a minute. Or maybe I'm just really professional. Yep..that's what it is...

Let me ask you something? If you were a petite person, and you had calves bigger than your thighs, would you be on a stairmaster? This lady was, and I can't imagine why she was on a machine that would bulk them up even more. I guess she likes her lower legs to look like Popeye's forearms.